Thursday, April 30, 2009

Making People Uncomfortable #2

This one works well with ex-boyfriends (or ex-girlfriends if you so happen to be a man/lesbian) but I'd suggest waiting a month or so to reduce suspicion and avoid a War-of-the-Roses type of thing.

The Yellow Page's website is amazing. Look up any business entry and you can get the details texted to your mobile phone for free. Go to and look up the most embarrassing business possible. Tailor it to your victim. If the man in question is a homophobic jock, send him the business details of a gay escort agency that specialises in trannies. If he is a bit of a player, try a dermatologist specialising in STD lesions. Send it at a time that other people are going to be around. Preferably on a first date with that bitch he was eyeing during the entire course of your relationship.

PS: This also works well with mailing lists. If your ex was a staunch, right wing conservative, sign a petition for one of those student-run socialist groups. Pretend to be your ex, and list their full name, address, email and phone number. Trust me, they'll be hounded for years.