Tuesday, July 21, 2009


I am a child of the Internet. Correction: I am a whore of the Internet who was practically reared on the interwebz. I remember doing a Google Image search of the Eiffel Tower when I was eight because I was going to Paris the next day.

Fast forward 14 years, and I have accounts with Facebook, Google, Twitter, MySpace, WordPress, Blogger, YouTube and a host of speciality sites. I also have an iPhone so I could even Facebook people while I'm in the loo if I wanted to (but, erm, not that I actually do). Wonderful way to keep in touch with my pals spread out all over the world, or perhaps those just too damn lazy to catch a ten minute tram ride to my place. But horrible because people keep trying to add me as a friend.

When I say 'people' I really mean 'complete strangers', and when I say 'complete strangers' I'm actually referring to sleazy 30 year old men with nothing better to do than to hit on younger women. Some of the friend requests come with derogatory comments such as, "Bang bang baby, you're hot!" or more straight to the point, "I'd smack your ass up chicka."

The next time this happens to me, my course of action is: 1. Accept friend request from sleazy stranger. 2. Set up blind date. 3. Stand them up. 4. DELETE.


Figgers said...

I think that's a wonderful idea.
That or stroke your straw while on a date with them, lick your fingers while looking them dead in the eye seductively...
Only to scream a the top of your lungs in the middle of the restaurant "no I will NOT blow you under the table you sick bastard!" and walk out leaving them with the cheque.

Paige Xc said...

Should I add in the diner scene from 'When Harry Met Sally' in there somewhere?