Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Overheard #1

"Oi spent two weeks' wages on them shoes! Diana Ferrari is soooo classy."

Location: Lygon Street Tram. Source: bogan. Comment: none.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The Momentous Adventures of the Sleeping Traveller

I am a true Melburnian (note the correct spelling, peoples), I heart my trams. As recently-turned-Melburnian-singer-songwriter-comedian The Bedroom Philosopher describes Melbourne: It's like New York, but with trams.

Problems only arise when people don't follow tram-etiquette. For example, give your seat up to old people and pregnant women (but be careful to not assume that all fat women are preggers). Don't put your bag on the seat. Don't eat smelly Shanghai dumplings and drip fish oil on the upholstery. Don't fart. Don't listen to music over speakers. Don't stand in the doorway. If you see someone running to catch the tram, push the button so it stops for them.

Not too sure if 'not falling asleep on strangers' is on that list... but it should be.

I was sitting on the tram, wondering why my right shoulder was getting heavier, and heavier, and heavier. Oh that's right. That would be the middle aged woman snoozing on my shoulder. Ahem, excuse me ma'am? Erm, hello? Help, please. Someone? Anyone?

I spent half the tram ride trying to figure out how to wake the sleeping traveller. Fortunately, I didn't have to. Momentum did the job for me.

The tram turned the corner. She didn't.