Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hey dawg

I don't get hip hop culture. I'm really sorry, but I just don't understand it. All the handshakes and the nicknames and the rapper slang. SPEAK IN BLOODY ENGLISH AND STOP MOLESTING MY HAND WHILE SHAKING IT.


I was the door bitch at an iconic Melbourne live music venue a while ago, and there were some hip hop acts perfoming. I was amused by the fact that the door sheet had the note "Artist is a hip hop act - keep an eye on the crowd". Perpetuating stereotypes maybe, but I did see at least one guy get semi-dragged out.


The most annoying thing though was the doorlist. Some of the names were normal birth names (e.g. Jane, David, Joe) and the other half were gangsta/rapper/some-other-hip-name names (e.g. Bottala, JDog, C-Dub, Tha Pahnik). This made for some rather awkward exchanges.

One particular wigga came through the door, blazingly arrogant and with his chin high in the air. "Yo dawg, me name's KC Kritikal, should be on the list, yo." I looked down at the door sheet."Um... nope. Not on the list." He looked kind of embarrassed, and quickly glanced from side to side to check no one was watching before he whispered, "Um, I'm also Bob."

"OH, HI BOB. LET ME GIVE YOU A STAMP, BOB. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, BOB."





Please note: No harm or offence intended towards hip hop fans/artists. I'm sure they are as equally as befuddled over my taste in experimental shoe-gaze, post punk and quirky dress sense. Please don't drive by my place and shoot me.

2 comments:

mikolai said...

i think what you're referring to is lame suburban wiggers. I like hip hop for its entrepreneurial, 'can-do' attitude. It’s not a genre known for navel gazing. That said, local hip hop crowds tend to be filled with no-talent, douchebag assholes.

Paige Xc said...

Fair enough. I suppose every genre of music will have a bunch of losers who are as lame as they are vocal.

Have you seen the documentary 'Sling Shot Hip Hop'?