Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Don't be a boob

A while ago I was talking to a fellow flat-chested girl, and she complained that the reason why men don't like her is because she isn't well endowed. Which is absolute bullshit in my opinion.

I have been with more men that I can, erm, count on both hands. And none of them have ever had an issue with my breasts. Quite the opposite, actually. My boobs have been called a lot of things - gorgeous, sexy, hot, alluring - but never a turn off. I think the reason why my poor unloved friend had problems was more to do with her depressing attitude to life (I swear, whenever I talk to her I feel like slitting my wrists) than her bra size. Here are some reasons why having small boobs rock the casbah:

  1. Men don't stare at your chest constantly.
  2. I can run! Watch me run!
  3. I can get away with wearing ridiculously low cut and revealing tops without looking skanky in the slightest. And vintage lingerie as outerwear doesn't make me look like a whore.
  4. Not that I follow fashion, but most mass-produced clothes out there aren't meant for boobs larger than a C-cup. Many a time I've been chatting to my F-cup friends when one of their buttons has spontaneously flown off in some direction. Brings a new meaning to "those boobs could take an eye out".
  5. Stretch marks? What are those?
  6. Woman-on-top position doesn't hurt.
  7. I get jobs because I am qualified.
  8. I actually look skinnier than I am because people associate massive knockers with... massive everything. Not always, but quite often.
  9. Gravity can't work if there's nothing to pull down to earth.
  10. Being able to wear lacy, skimpy, sexy and unsubstantial bras is pretty sweet.
  11. I don't have to spend $80 to buy a granny-looking contraption to hold giant boobs to my body.
  12. Being able to hug people and still wrap my arms around them is quite nice.
  13. Lying face down in bed. Wins the competition.
  14. Having men (and women) be attracted to my intelligence and personality rather than just being something to look at.

* By no means should large chested women read this list and start wearing minimising bras or get breast reduction surgery. The rest of us are all still a little jealous.

5 comments:

Paige Xc said...

Also might add that a couple of the absolute man-eater friends I have who have ten men running after them at any time... have double A boobs.

harsh said...

nice article, but as a boy we love handful size is enough, we never expect either large or small
they just need to be handful and smooth

Paige Xc said...

I'm trying to think of lumpy breasts... shudder.

harsh said...

some times we feel they r given to girls for us to satisfy

Anonymous said...

I don't get what the fixation with large breasts is about anyway. Personally I think the whole big boob love is a social fetish.