Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Green with motivation

Anyone who knows me well will be able to tell you that I'm hardworking. And jealous. Incredibly, incredibly jealous.

I have a odd personality trait in which I become ridiculously, over-the-top jealous of something someone else has or does, and then I try to use it as a benchmark for myself. When I was in high school, I was envious of one of my best friends and my brother's natural artistic abilities... so I pretty much picked up an art book and taught myself how to draw and paint like I do today. In Junior School, there was one particular girl who could touch type excellently, so I went home fuming, picked up my Dolly magazine (how embarrassing) and forced myself to type out terrible self-help articles with my fingers on the home row. I now type at a rate of 88wpm. One of my best friends in school was the biggest fucking book worm, and my sheer envy at all the awards she was getting made me turn my Bs and Cs into straight As, and I even ended up beating her to the English and Business subject awards in the end.* The same goes for my sewing skills, my writing abilities, my miraculous weight loss and my amazing organisational skills.

Quite often it's also because I'm pissed off at someone as well. Sort of like how girls chop off all their hair and start dieting when they get dumped - it's like my way of saying, "Fuck you, look, I'm so freaking awesome!" Although I have to say that the two people who've ticked me off lately aren't particularly special - they seem to be university drop-outs with terrible love lives and personalities uglier than their mugs... Kind of takes the fun out of it, doesn't it?

* I should add that in that year she still managed to pick up FIVE subject awards and was named School Dux. Ah, my hero.