Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Honey, I ran over the kids...

I fucking hate 4WDs. They're big gas guzzlers that pump out pollution like there's no tomorrow. People mow down their own children with 4WDs because they can't see the ground properly. 4WD owners pretty much make up their own road rules. Traffic island in the way? Hey, guess what? I can totally drive over it without damaging my car. Foot paths? Meh, it doesn't matter if a few school kids have to leap out of the way. All that matters is that they cheat traffic jams.

I have this crazy idea for next April first. I'm going to print bumper stickers with various slogans, like:

I CAN AFFORD THE PETROL BECAUSE I RAN OVER MY KIDS
MY DICK'S REALLY SMALL, BUT MY CAR IS PRETTY DARN BIG
HONK IF YOU WANT ME TO RUN YOU OFF THE ROAD

And then obviously plaster them all over every 4WD I see parked in metropolitan streets. It's not that I think the concept of a 4WD is bad. If you live in the country and will actually need to cross streams and forges and really rugged terrain, go nuts. Buy ten 4WDS if you really want to (okay, maybe not, but you get my point). These are people who will actually be using a 4WD because they literally need to use four wheels to steer.

You don't need to steer four wheels to pick you kids up from a posh private school with beautifully flat roads. You don't need a 4WD to navigate Chadstone's car park. You do, however, need a brain to realise that.

Side note: I think the government needs to impose an extra road tax on 4WDs registered in metropolitan areas.

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